English Language Jokes



















-Me han contratado como profesor de inglés.
-¿Trabajo estable?
-No, mesa es table. Trabajo es work.


- ¿Nivel de inglés?
- Alto.
- Traduzca "amarillo".
- Yellow.
- Úselo en una frase.
- Me da un vaso con mucho yellow por favor?
- Contratado


-Nivel de inglés?
-Alto.
-Diga "arriba en estas ciudades".
-Up in these cities.
-Haga una frase.
-Me operaron de up in these cities.
-Largo.


¿Sabe usted ingles?
-si
¿nivel?
-level

—¿Nivel de Inglés?
—¡10! Lo domino.
—Ok. ¿Qué significa "I am"?
—¡Una de la mañana!


- Buenos días, me gustaría alquilar "Batman Forever"
- No es posible, tiene que devolverla tomorrow.


- ¿Nivel de inglés?
- Alto
- Traduzca "Yo libro los lunes"
- I book on mondays
- Contratado.

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High Inter Writing - Songs-Violent Lyrics

JOSE ANTONIO
Banning something in the Western societies could have the opposite effect. Human beings never understand the prohibition, and the result is that never works it. In my point of view is not the way to resolve the problem. Violence is part of music, if you like or not. But the issue is that children do not tell the different right and wrong, you have to teach them. They are listening all the time the songs with violent lyrics in video games and TV, too. To conclude, it is time to all of us to do something about violence.

FRANCISCA
In my opinion, all the external factors of the environment have an impact on people´s behavior. It can be in a good or bad way. And it´s impossible to control all this factors. Violence it´s part of the human behavior. And we can think that through music, humans can control this violence. It´s a way of expression.
So maybe songs with violent lyrics don´t make people more violent. Anyway, to banned this kind of songs won´t resolve the violence in the society. I disagree with this opinion.

IVAN
Songs with violent lyrics make people more violent and should be banned.
The first question is this. How is a song with violent lyrics? For example. Is it the same one song with sentences about fascism than another song with sentences about street fight?
I think that violence always is here,  it is a reality and it is very difficult that we can hide this reality, so I am disagree with this affirmation. I know songs about important people that they had to take the weapons to defend the liberty and social justice. I think that a lot of songs have lyrics with violence expression, but the writer didn´t want to generate more violence. I´m thinking in Silvio Rodriguez.

Another thing is if you ask me if I am agree with songs with violent messages. I´m disagree this type of songs.

ELENA
It is Clear that music is one of the best way to connect different kinds of people.People with different ideas, ages or sex find a point of agreement in music. Sometimes this music brings a kind of life, and in this case, when we are talking about songs with violent lyrics ,it is true that perhaps those songs get people more violent in particular moments,probably it is increased by alcohol or other drugs, but I don’t think that it should be banned. I have different reasons. First, a lot of people could enjoy these songs because they like the music and they don’t agree with their contents. Second,if it was banned it could become in something to protect therefore more attractive. Third, I think that hearing isn’t so powerful than sense of vision , It’s worse to watch a violent film than to hear a violent song. Finally , nowadays it is impossible to ban anything because there are so many ways to keep informed.

CARMEN
I don´t think that  violent music , videogames, film can do violent to people.I think that the social injustice , in healt , education do the violence to the people.
When person  don´t have enough money to have a dignified life it ´s appear the violence.The biggest violence is from the avarice of a people than confusing charity with justice.

ARACELI
CRISTINA
FEDRA
ISIDRO
MARIA
PABLO

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Students' Useful Links to Learn English

The following websites are sites that my Upper Intermediate students found and wanted to share with the class. These are the descriptions as to why they like the sites in their writing.
Francisca
-You can listen to any word you want as much as you want
-It´s good for the pronunciation because you can try to imitate the word´s pronunciation
-You can translate any word you want from any language
-This program gives you many synonyms of the translated word
-It gives you an example using the word in each language
-You can also talk and the program writes the word for you
-But it is not recommended to use this program for translating a sentence or to improve grammar

Fedra
I would like to inform you about the Website that I picked because I like some of its tips   http://www.ecenglish.com/101-ways-to-learn-english

Other Websites:



Ivan
Actually, we have a lot of possibilities to learn English on the internet. I was looking in my computer and I found several resources on websites and Youtube.

I chose the website http://www.aprendeingles.net because 


  1. It has a lot of possibilities like videocast, vocabulary, grammar, listening…
  2. You can do a level test, to know what exercises are better for you to improve your English. 
  3. This website has a lot of books about several subjects like history, economics, fiction, and politics 
  4. It has a very interesting blog, where you can learn to improve your English while you are working, for example. (popling, flash cards. Once every few minutes (you choose how often) the Popling displays a notification containing a question from a flash card set).
  5. I can´t use this resource, but this web has connections with important channels in English: BBC news, Reuters, CNN. You can hear the news while you do the chores or another activity.
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